True friends, or casual social network buddies? Jan08 '09

When I "friend" you on a social network, I'm making a statement: I want to get to know you. I want to "friend" you in many social networks - everywhere possible that helps me get to know you better.

I want to call you by your real first name - not your social network "handle." I want to hang out with you face-to-face - not just avatar-to-avatar.

I want to call (or Pinger) you on your birthday, Fathers or Mothers Day (if you are one of those), or any special day relating to you. I want to text you directly when you're not feeling well, or otherwise suffering from something life has thrown your way.

I want to be there for you, and not just when things are great and the Twitter conversation lively. Anyone can "@" you when you're happy and excited.

I want to be "true" friends, not just casual social network buddies.

It seems that case that most people that "friend" me may not feel the same way. Perhaps they just want more friends listed in their profile, so they appear more "popular." Or maybe they just want to know me "just a little bit," but not so much that I'm actually in their life.

Or maybe they would like to be true friends with me, but are unsure how to take the first step... that is, after "friending" me on a social network.

This last theory, somehow I doubt. Social networks, in their infinite ability to mask a real person with their "online persona," are far too easy to game. It's easy to "friend" people, but much harder to maintain that friendship. The initial feeling of "friending" someone is great, but short-lived. A few months pass, and you forget why the person is listed as your friend.

Perhaps it's just that social networks have diluted what it means to have a "true" friendship - one that goes above and beyond writing on walls and "poking." Perhaps, since it's so easy to add friends, we no longer take careful consideration as to who we friend, and more importantly - why. Social networks seem to be more about quantity than quality.

This is all disheartening to me. After all, I don't use social networks because I enjoy staring at computers and uploading avatars. I join because of what I might find on the other end - that being you.

If I've found you, I want to keep you. I'm sorry if that's too much for you to handle. You can always unfollow me, and I won't take offense.

But please tell me, because I'd like to know - if you're not in social networks for these reasons, what are your reasons?

Categories: Friends , Social Networking

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